I discovered a very interesting custom in Brazil that I just have to share. It has to do with the tradition of having a dating ring. The aliança do compromisso is a ring that couples wears to show that they are in a relationship. It doesn’t mean the couple are engaged but rather that they are dating. This ring is a normal band without a stone so it looks like a wedding band. Interesting isn’t it?
My first real experience here with this tradition was with the students at IABC. So just imagine, I am in a school with teenagers most of whom are wearing rings which look like wedding bands. It is also obvious that the ones with the rings were in a relationship with someone. In my head I was wondering if in Brazil kids could get married before they finished high school. Then, I am thinking that the school was crazy for having married teenagers for boarding students. Teenage pregnancy and young and inexperienced parents came to mind. My imagination was getting away with me.
After observing that male students sat on one side of the church and female students sat on the other and that some unmarried teachers had the same type of ring, I realized that the rings didn’t mean the couples were married but rather they were dating. This was later confirmed when I was able to speak enough Portuguese to inquire about the tradition.
There is however a scheme to the whole ring situation. A silver band signifies that the couples are only dating. A gold band on the right hand means they are engaged while a gold band on the left hand means the couples are married. Brazilians don’t usually wear engagement rings like there is in the US. Most couples only have a wedding band.
I was curious to know if persons had to buy these rings at specific jewelry stores or if they were available most places. According my friends, the rings are available at many jewelry stores and are somewhat inexpensive. But it costs more to have have the rings engraved. That’s another tradition. The rings can also be engraved with the couple’s names.
I guess in a sense this tradition has its purpose, for a single person looking for someone, he/she can know without asking if another person is single by the absence of a ring. The ring makes the dating process get off the ground easily. This tradition also generates a lot of income for jewelers. On the other side, it seems like quite a lot of trouble for dating especially if the persons are young and likely not to get married.
Ok, since I am on the topic of rings I must share another interesting discovery I made about Brazilian weddings. Unfortunately, I was not able attend my friend’s wedding because it was in the South of Brazil which is several days away. I did however learn a lot about Brazilian weddings which I must share.
In weddings I am accustomed to, the couple chooses bridesmaids and groomsmen and they are usually dress alike. In Brazil, they do not have this type of tradition. Here, the equivalent of bridesmaids and groomsmen are godmothers and godfathers for the wedding. The couple chooses usually several persons to stand up for them. Sometimes these persons are married to each other but regardless these persons are paired with another person because they walk in the wedding in pairs like bridesmaids and groomsmen.
These godparents don’t just walk in the wedding they have a very important role. They are expected to contribute a very large and expensive gift to the couple. One would think a large gift would be an appliance or some money. Not here! The gift is usually a piece of furniture. They buy the couple either a bedroom set, furnish the entire kitchen with small appliances, a refrigerator, a stove, a dining room table or a living room set. Basically, when a person is asked to be a padrino/madrino of a wedding they know they have to contribute very expensive gift. It is also considered an honor because they are blessing the union.
I have to lift my hat to Brazilians for this custom because when a couple gets married they basically go home to a furnished house, because at the cha bar they get the small appliances and at the wedding they get the bigger stuff. All the couple has to worry about is the wedding, but some of the cost is offset by the tradition of giving money to the couple at the reception. It looks like here is the place to get married. You’ll get everything you’ll need to start your new life!
My first real experience here with this tradition was with the students at IABC. So just imagine, I am in a school with teenagers most of whom are wearing rings which look like wedding bands. It is also obvious that the ones with the rings were in a relationship with someone. In my head I was wondering if in Brazil kids could get married before they finished high school. Then, I am thinking that the school was crazy for having married teenagers for boarding students. Teenage pregnancy and young and inexperienced parents came to mind. My imagination was getting away with me.
After observing that male students sat on one side of the church and female students sat on the other and that some unmarried teachers had the same type of ring, I realized that the rings didn’t mean the couples were married but rather they were dating. This was later confirmed when I was able to speak enough Portuguese to inquire about the tradition.
There is however a scheme to the whole ring situation. A silver band signifies that the couples are only dating. A gold band on the right hand means they are engaged while a gold band on the left hand means the couples are married. Brazilians don’t usually wear engagement rings like there is in the US. Most couples only have a wedding band.
I was curious to know if persons had to buy these rings at specific jewelry stores or if they were available most places. According my friends, the rings are available at many jewelry stores and are somewhat inexpensive. But it costs more to have have the rings engraved. That’s another tradition. The rings can also be engraved with the couple’s names.
I guess in a sense this tradition has its purpose, for a single person looking for someone, he/she can know without asking if another person is single by the absence of a ring. The ring makes the dating process get off the ground easily. This tradition also generates a lot of income for jewelers. On the other side, it seems like quite a lot of trouble for dating especially if the persons are young and likely not to get married.
Ok, since I am on the topic of rings I must share another interesting discovery I made about Brazilian weddings. Unfortunately, I was not able attend my friend’s wedding because it was in the South of Brazil which is several days away. I did however learn a lot about Brazilian weddings which I must share.
In weddings I am accustomed to, the couple chooses bridesmaids and groomsmen and they are usually dress alike. In Brazil, they do not have this type of tradition. Here, the equivalent of bridesmaids and groomsmen are godmothers and godfathers for the wedding. The couple chooses usually several persons to stand up for them. Sometimes these persons are married to each other but regardless these persons are paired with another person because they walk in the wedding in pairs like bridesmaids and groomsmen.
These godparents don’t just walk in the wedding they have a very important role. They are expected to contribute a very large and expensive gift to the couple. One would think a large gift would be an appliance or some money. Not here! The gift is usually a piece of furniture. They buy the couple either a bedroom set, furnish the entire kitchen with small appliances, a refrigerator, a stove, a dining room table or a living room set. Basically, when a person is asked to be a padrino/madrino of a wedding they know they have to contribute very expensive gift. It is also considered an honor because they are blessing the union.
I have to lift my hat to Brazilians for this custom because when a couple gets married they basically go home to a furnished house, because at the cha bar they get the small appliances and at the wedding they get the bigger stuff. All the couple has to worry about is the wedding, but some of the cost is offset by the tradition of giving money to the couple at the reception. It looks like here is the place to get married. You’ll get everything you’ll need to start your new life!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
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